i experienced a misery week

with tones of assignments

and other tasks...

i felt really tense and 

i really feel like i can't do it.

i felt broken-hearted by a person

and i really don't know what 

to do.

I often ask God ...

why me?

why let i get to know to this person

if t just meant to hurt me?

but God says,

He will never put me in a situation 

that i can't handle.

However, 

i kept asking the same question all over again.

why God put me in such a hard situation??

I attended a camp last Raya holiday.

We pray and do our quiet time in the Peace Heaven Camp.

I saw many of my friend's got the response from Jesus.

but i'm not. 

a friend of mine used to advice me.

"If you want God to answer you,

pray and open the Bible...

all your questions and doubts got to be answered."

i did this but it always end up with the same result.

God didn't answered me as i want Him to.

feeling isolated, 

i just walk around the campsite until

i reached to a gate.

i sit there alone with the mist and cold breeze.

i really feel hopeless!

i don't know what to do.

i opened the Bible but i can't got anything from it.

i felt frustrated.

and i started to talk by myself.

i ask God many questions.

What should i do next?

Should i or shouldn't i?

Is it the right way or not?

why did God leave me when He say that He with me?

Why i felt as i was rejected?

You know what...

God didn't answered me.

i was totally broken-hearted!!

i felt like i've been left out!

God where are you?

After the camp, 

i listened to some of my friend's testimonies.

All of their testimonies almost the same.

God answered them most during the camp and the quiet moment.

I smile, but deep inside me i felt hurt.

Why God forsaken me?

Why God didn't answered me like He answered them?

I was touched in the camp most of it's session.

But still i felt hurt about God didn't answered my prayers.

However, after attending the camp 

and a youth conference recently,

i made a commitment to stay positive.

i'm trying my best for it.

I did cry, most of the times..

but i'm quickly turned to God.

Though He did not answered me,

i let myself think,

He was there and watches over me...

I still have problems till today..

but i know i will get through it..

somehow with the strength from Him..

i was doing my works since last night.

and i'm totally exhausted!!

anyway,

to entertain myself, 

i checked out the music videos in youtube.

I came across of video which pop-out

out of nowhere.

It's this video.

i never watch this video before..

and something put in my heart to click it.

i can't speak Mandarin but the music really great.

i felt the calmness...

everything just not end there...

as i re-watch the video,

i found out that there is a bible verse.

it is...

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,
   for I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should go,
   for to You I entrust my life."

(Psalm 143:8)

I just totally shocked!!

Did God just answered me?

Yes!

He teaches me how to pray to Him.

and i felt glad..

i should let God lead my way..

and not lean on my own strength!

that's it!

i should entrust my life to Him...

God lead my way. I pray. In Jesus name, amen.