all this while..

i've been wrote most of my "so-called emotional" love stories...

in this precious blog...

hahahaha

but today,

i'm going to write something that touched my heart...

seriously...

i wanna cry all night long if possible.

First,

let me say:

i think all of you must know the song...

"Sentuh Hatiku by Maria Shandi"

so,

as you read this...

it's best if you listened to the song and reflect to the lyrics it gets.

the lyrics?

hmmm...

here it goes...

BETAPA KUMENCINTAI
SEGALA YANG T'LAH TERJADI
TAK PERNAH SENDIRI JALANI HIDUP INI
SELALU MENYERTAI

BETAPA KUMENYADARI
DI DALAM HIDUPKU INI
KAU SLALU MEMBERI RANCANGAN TERBAIK
OLEH KARENA KASIH

REFF :
BAPA, SENTUH HATIKU, UBAH HIDUPKU
MENJADI YANG BARU
BAGAI EMAS YANG MURNI
KAU MEMBENTUK BEJANA HATIKU

BAPA, AJARKU MENGERTI SEBUAH KASIH
YANG SELALU MEMBERI
BAGAI AIR MENGALIR
YANG TIADA PERNAH BERHENTI 

behind this beautiful song and lyrics...

there was a story...

and that what i'm going to tell..

The story behind the writing of this song by Jason, a born-again child of God, has greater depths and breath based on the Word on the Love of God.

Jason, a born-again Christian, likes to go and pray for a girl, who was raped by her own father and became mad. She was chained to the house, and could not move about or do anything. While going there, occassionally he wrote the lyrics of this song.

time passed...

Jason moved to town, and was busy with his own activities, then suddenly, this girl called him on his handphone, he was surprised that she is not crazy anymore, and had gotten free from the chains to make phone calls.

Then the girl told her story:

While in chains, she said to herself : 'One day, if this chain brakes loose, due to rust or any other reason, I will go and kill my dad.'
But the morning when she awoked, she saw a figure of a man in bright white robe, Lord Jesus and said to her :
"You must forgive your dad"...
But she could not, and she kept crying, hating and screaming. Until finally, Jesus embraced her and said : "I love you."
Although struggling, she finally rose to forgive her daddy. .. the whole family were in tears, crying and heart broken, repented, and returned to normal life.

From there this song touched my heart...

p/s: if you realized, the most of the word in this song consists of "Bapa"...

:')

just now i went to KL Sentral 

to fetch my stuff that my beloved mum

sent through a church member

guess what...?

all food!

dush~ mummy2...

ur anak wanna diet u give food...

anyway..what makes me feel touching the most..

is...

she bake a birthday cake for me...

=')

mama...

thanks a lot... 

i love you...:')

never forget to give me something 
for my birthday though i'm far away..
nw i'm here...
going to miss the moment
of celebrating my 19th birthday... :')

thanks for the cake mama~!!

it's been a while i didn't update my blog..

already full of dust!

anyway, the time past by so quick (for me)

tomorrow will be the second week of August

soon ....

i'll be 19~

Oh !!!!!

getting old... :(

wow! i have grown faster!

i have been lived for about 19 years??

it's absolutely AMAZING!

i'm going to be super duper sweet 19 in less than 3 weeks more!

aaaaaahhhhh!!!

aaaaarrrrggghh!!!!!!!

older...~but hey~ here i wanna show off something....

how i am today...

i'm no describe me as someone that has the look..

i just wanna say...

i'm look different...

and even till today i wonder...

will u...

be my friend if u met me 6 years ago?

i don't have any answer to it..stay smile..keep healthy~

it's not the same like the other day before my departure...

hmm... 

seriously i'm kind of wanna leaving A.S.A.P...

all the hard moment, i experienced it in Sarawak...

seriously ..

it's like i need to be in somewhere else with this pain...

still feel the pain..

am i?

hmmmm...........

lips can lie but heart no..

however through it all..

i still praise the Lord cause giving me this heart...

i'm proud of my heart..

it is being stabbed

it is being burned

it is being broken

it is being stitched

and yet...

it's still beating...

 God keep reminded me that...

sorry Lord for all...

i know i shouldn't feel this way...

sometime the emotion are just unstable..

but i keep my trust in YOU, LORD..

and i will live for YOU forever more...

till then..

stay healthy.be blessed.

^^

we're not the perfect two

feeling sad these few days...

i'm thinking of someone who exist in my life before...

i don't regret for having feelings with him...

i don't regret of having those memories when he purpose me...

i don't regret for spending most my time for him...

i don't regret for knowing him...

i thought he is the one that God sent to me...

unfortunately, he's not...

all things that already happened for 

some times ago...

makes me hurt so..

making me thinking that he same with others now..

i don't hate him...

but i'm dissapointed for everything that he done...

things happened for ages...

i decided to say goodbye to all those beautiful memories...

and things that you teach to me about life...

by breaking the heart to pieces...

i'm mending it back by looking back to the first love, Jesus...

thanks for making me realize that we're not the perfect two...

now i open new pages of my life...

creating another stories...

i'm thankful i'm a Christian...

i always knew that i have somebody to turn to when i'm down...

i know HE would not put me down...

HE is the perfect love above all...

Thank you, Jesus..

i know YOU love me and so do i...

i know someday YOU will send a person to me who loves YOU just like i do..

maybe even more than i do..:)

till then, keep happy. always smiling. stay healthy.

be blessed.. ^^

everything just well done tonight!

i am so proud to work with awesome people~

especially in the Publicity Team~

u guys had put ur efforts..

and therefore as ur head of committee..

i should be proud!

anyway~

there's a lot of things happening around

and i hope i still can be strong going through it all...

hmmmm....

next month i'm going to be in the final semester of fondation before entering 1st year degree!

getting older now...(huhuhuhu)

sometimes i still feel d pain~

letting go of everything sometimes is not easy as any people would think

for them ..

everything just come and go..

but for me...

it comes and if it's pain..

it leaving me with a deep scar...

hmmm....

i don't know why life just so complicated...

sometime i think i better off this way...

being under pressure is not as awesome as u may think, peeps!

i'm founding something that hurt me...

ahaaaa~

makes me realize somthg...

what is it?

it is about F.O.R.G.I.V.I.N.G and F.O.R.G.E.T.T.I.N.G

i'm not good enough to people am i?

i'm not a nice person, is it?

why people keep treating me badly when i treat them the other way?

being too nice or being just nice is a fault?

hmmm....

i don't know...

it's 0200+am in d morning..

i just can't sleep..

i don't know what roaming in my mind now...

but it's disturbing...

however spending rest of my time in church playing keyboards...

makes me feel okay~

there i find my peace~

and how i wish to be in that kind of peace......

btw..

counting days to meet the air asia~

Sarawak, i be there as soon as possible!

i'm attending SPK 8 in SIB Brickfield

for this moment...

i no longer be the participant..

but the "PEMBINA"

hehehe

i'm longing to experience many thing with God

i have this kind of feeling...

i do anything...

just to satisfy my longing for God

i even do something i never dare to do so before...

that is..

playing keyboard...

but the feeling of sadness...

keep haunting me..

i try to focus more with God and church~

but then the feeling of frustration about my failure in everything makes me HURT~

a lot...

God~

keep me strong..